On Life Apprenticeship
Purpose, Employer-Employee Boundaries, Work-life balance, and Individual-Risk. We’re trapped in the utopian ideas of work but live in a dystopian world.
We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.
Ernest Hemingway
Here’s the beginning of “Career and Relationship” project. I'll start with Career, and soon I’ll post about Relationship. For the past few weeks, I’ve interviewed 12 people both online and offline, and I couldn't be more grateful for the chance to meet those fabulous individuals. The advice I've received is invaluable, and obviously, I will share those advices in the final post of this project.
Now, let’s talk about Career.
You may be stuck in your job right now, and that is okay. The learning curve is always there if we are willing to look closely with a conscious mind every single day of life. We always expect the best in every plan we make, probably because of the emotions we have during writing or planning something. There’s a rush or the need to check the list of our goals, right? Because I've experienced that a lot :D.
Making a living vs Making a life
Well, these two things are totally different in many aspects, especially in economic life. However, I got a good definition of both sides from Quora, anonymously:
If you're doing something you enjoy and getting paid for it, you're making a living and a life.
If you're getting paid for doing something you don't like, then you're making a living but not a life.
If you're doing something you enjoy but not getting paid for it, then you're making a life but not a living.
If you're doing something you don't like and not getting paid, then you’re neither making a life nor a living.
How beautiful it is and just like how easy we can differentiate between making a living and making a life. Well, sometimes, we need to romanticize our world so that we can filter the good and the bad. But, to apply this definition into reality would dismay our definition of a good life. Or, in the worst case, I might imagine the ideal life, start creating a delusion in my head, and forget about real life. Sometimes, all the definitions that the world lays upon us either make us understand more about what we’re doing or reverse it.
However, to simplify these two subjects, I’d argue about the purpose of why we are working and the boundaries we’re creating to make sense of our lives.
Let’s Talk about Purpose
The word "purpose," for some people, might be something like a divine mission from The Holy One; for others, it might be something like a personal goal for each day or for the rest of the year, and probably a survival to fulfill needs. Nothing’s wrong with that; the definition of its purpose for everyone is different regarding personal risk, unfair advantage, life achievements, goals, and probably age.
There are two different approaches I’ve heard after talking to 12 persons about purpose. The two approaches are material, which are wage and career path, & personal satisfaction, which are the benefits for others and self-satisfaction for the work.
In the early days of the work stage, people are more vibrant in talking about their vision or their plan. Their approach is more towards material things, which are wage and career path. Weltri said, “We’re still young and we should have big goals or targets to achieve.” I can feel the spirit in Weltri's words because having written goals feels like a boost, even though the reality is too hard to predict or to tackle down.
However, the more years of experience, the more people loosen up their idealism of the future. It doesn’t mean that they don’t have a strategy for the career path; no. The kind of attitude they possess is surrender. Ezra said that he just wanted to do his job and didn’t want to add pressure to his life. Bernando felt that his ambition era had passed, and today, he wants to practice the hyper-focus method on his daily job and focus on the passion he loves right now. Sakti told me the same thing, “The highest ambition I’ve ever felt was during my 20-30s, in my single moments.” Now, in his marriage, his focus is more sharp to the needs of his daughter and his wife.
During the moments of talking with them, I realized that the responsibility that one has to take care of will narrow their decision-making process, especially when it comes to work. A single person who only needs to take care of themselves, a person who has to take care of some family members, and a married person who has to take care of his/her marriage. It’s lovely to hear that when a baby comes into a marriage, their full attention would be on this baby.
As Sakti said, “I would do anything to fulfill my daughter’s need.” A person who has to take care of some family has a motivation to earn more and more money; they’re willing to get a job which offers a big salary. As a person who has to support his family, Darwin told me that he wanted a job with better benefits so that he can keep the wage for saving and to support his family.
I would say this as Individual Risk. Individual risk is a random variable that is often measured in terms of risk or losses. It is a multifaceted concept which is influenced by various factors such as age, gender, marital status, education level, and region. Angel (not real name) told me the struggle she faced in searching for a job at her age right now. She turns 28 this year, and in Indonesia, lots of jobs require a certain age to be able to work with them.
Citizenship is also another notion we need to take seriously. In our country, Indonesia, the competition is really high due to the high number of people who struggle to get the same needs.
Of course, this randomness can't be avoided, and we need a strategy to overcome this issue. Each person needs to assess and manage their personal risk in order to evaluate the decision-making process. Viewing risk as both a loss and opportunity can widen our ability to clear the burden of this shallow responsibility.
Well, then what about their current job? Are they happy with their job?
“I’m happy with my job right now, even though I face multiple emotional drains. I have no expectation that this job will take lots of energy,” Emi told me after asking her whether her job is a stepping stone or a survival need. She has a plan for her life in her work right now; I would say that her vision breathes fresh air into her day-to-day life.
“My work is tough, I can’t deny it. I would say that this job is a stepping stone for character building. For now, I just want to focus on things I can do in my work. In the work field, we have to choose between money or wage and career path. I hardly see someone in the early work years get both.” Olivia explained the difference between a career path and wage. Her eagerness to explain this issue was truly a blessing for me. She has worked for 3 years straight after graduating, and to this moment, I’m so happy to know her survival.
In other responses, Angel (not real name) said that she didn’t feel satisfied with her job; it was not something like a stepping stone or a survival need. Ruth (not real name) wishes her job aligns with her education background. “I want to apply my education in my job because I’ve studied and spent nearly 4 years to get the degree,” she said to me. I think the opportunity to work a job that aligns with our education is also a good point because, in the very first place, at least we know the basic theory of its jobs.
“I feel whole with my job when everyone around me can feel the benefits of my work. Our presence is loved by our surrounding, and giving a positive impact to my colleagues and the community. Even though the material I have right now is not like any other person's, I'm happy with my job right now,” Yekrita said. Her answer just melts my heart.
There’s a relation between attachment to society, in this case, positive impact, and the strategy to plan our current work. A person who feels he/she gives a positive impact and has a plan for their current job, even though it’s not their dream job, tends to be happier and feel whole with their job.
Is there any relation between passion and work?
Yes, there is a relation between passion and work. Passion for work can be a key factor in enhancing an individual's work and career outcomes but also their life well-being. Passion is a strong interest in an activity, object, or idea which drives the inner motivation of individuals to invest their energy and time into something they love. Bernando highlighted that a person can experience different passions due to different situations, books they read, or stuff they're used to listening to. This is a natural part of human experience because our interests can change with new experiences and personal development.
If so, is work-life balance a myth? Or is there a better strategy to get work-life balance?
Turns out, people have different opinions about this issue. Ruth said that she didn’t believe in work-life balance; it was only for people who have everything in their life. Darwin added another point to the items of work-life balance, which are physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental. “It’s nearly hard to balance everything when we only have one source of income,” Darwin said. Denesa offered another point of view, which is our adaptive capability to learn new things, especially in the workplace. She said that the capability to adapt fast enabled us to experience work-life balance.
However, another speaker said that work-life balance is achievable only if, this part gets juicy, I welcome your personal opinion about this guys. Here’s the list why and how to make sense of work-life balance:
Weekend is one of the ways to practice work-life balance. After working for 5 days straight, the weekend is worth the wait. Not like what the world has told us about waiting for the weekend after working hours, but the relief of finishing certain tasks or jobs. It may sound different for each job, but I think changing our view about the weekend can be a game-changer.
Find yourself a reliable partner so that you can have someone to share your story after long hours.
Fasten your time management ability. Well…
Good communication between your work colleagues. Well…
Create healthy boundaries between you, as an employee, and your employer. This reason relates to the ability to say ‘No’ to certain orders or tasks from your employer. And it will ensure that you are not overburdened with tasks. Remember to say it professionally and respectfully, and please don't feel guilty by saying no to your boss. One of the many ways to practice this is by making a list of priorities and politely declining tasks that are not aligned with your goals or priorities. However, it’s easier said than done. Yehezkiel highlighted that everyone’s risks and situations are different. Practicing the ability to say no can give a huge opportunity for you.
It’s important to know the purpose, but don’t rush to find it now. Little by little, you’ll eventually know why you want to work in that office. It’s important to set clear boundaries with your employer, but don’t rush because first thing first, you need to understand boundaries and how to make one. It’s important to have a passion, but give yourself permission to fail in certain areas of life. It’s okay if you chase money right now, and it’s okay if you don't chase it right now; both are true because people have different risks, goals, and responsibilities. At least, you have tried your best to make another day.
That’s it for the first release from CaRe Project, and I hope you find it interesting. Soon, I’ll post about Relationship, and there’s just so much relationship advice I got hoho.
Well, you’ve reached the end of the story today.
That’s a wrap for today, thank you for reading. If you find this article interesting, please share this with your best friends, your partner, or other important person in your life.
Melva Bintang