Imagine, a life “we don’t have” while submitting ourselves to the mundane life.
That’s where we lost the joy in life.
Every little thing matters a lot in our life, every up and down will benefit our own sake. However, in this rapid and very busy era, we often decide whether something is for us or not. We want to take full control over anything, in our career, education, finances, and our relationship. Although I know, everything happens because of our decisions, it even gives a feeling of a sense of control, like we have a remote control over that important thing in life. What if everything we want so badly is actually already in our lives right now?
Oftentimes, the desperation for more things has made us trapped in a feeling of rush. It is neither society's nor the oneself problem. It is deeply rooted in our hearts because we are a normal human who wants to upgrade ourselves. I, myself, want to do anything in life. I want to learn a new language every single month, join a new community, publish a weekly new article, and many more. Instead, I was lying in my bed every spare time I had. It wouldn’t leave me any guilt because sometimes I thought doom scrolling was fine.
That happened because I was too tired to face hard reality and my energy was run out just to make a new move. Autopilot is a double-edged sword: it simplifies choices but dulls creativity. I don’t know, it is giving me a tired body every time. Well, probably it’s because the work energy has stiffened my body. I’m trying a lot to push myself more, to have more motivation, to crack this procrastination, but it just yeah, I’m giving a new excuse again.
And that’s the loop of dreaming of a new life, and have a big schedule to do every single day. I’m grateful for everything I have right now, but in this flesh body, I want more. But, then I do nothing. I choose to stay silent in this autopilot mode. I feel sad because of the piles of projects that need to be done, and a stack of reading lists on my Substack or anything else. But, I’m grateful for at least this moment, I have the freedom to choose my procrastination over my overly ambition. At least I know how to stop and when to start over again.
So, if I can give you suggestions for your overly ambition mode,
Be kind to yourself. What you’re having right now, is your prayer from your past. Trust the slow process, because in snap life is a tragedy but in a long shot, life is a comedy. (a nod to Chaplin)
Thank you !!
Melva Bintang
