I don’t listen to anyone’s advice
Have a strong filter when it comes to advices, critics and feedbacks.
I shall adopt new views as fast as they shall appear to be true views. Abrahamm Lincoln
I’m reading Adam Grant’s latest book titled “Hidden Potential” and stumble upon part about “Getting the Cold Hard Truth.” This part talks about feedbacks, critics and its impact on our own growth. However, it’s hard sometimes to filter which feedbacks, critics, advices we should take seriously. I sometimes take certain negative feedbacks to my soul and it hurts so much. Other times, I accept praise too easily, leaving me with just a sense of -that’s good.”
But along the way, I’ve learned that feedbacks is the fuel for my growth, critics are a good engine for my work or projects, and advice is the fuel to push my limits. Eventually, all those things are good for our growth but in a good portion and please highlight, an open attitude to receive feedback but not become too attached.
Then, which source to trust?
Grant concluded into three important categories, which are Care, Credibility, and Familiarity.
“If they don’t care about you, they haven't earned the right for you to care about their reactions. If they're not qualified to judge the task or close enough to know your potential, you can discount their views and prove them wrong. But if they've demonstrated that you matter to them and they know the domain and your skills, they are offering information to improve yourself. That doesn't mean you have to accept every bit of constructive criticism they give. You also don't have to agree with it to learn from it. By trying to understand what provoked their reactions, you can glean insights about how to elicit a different response next time.”
This whole paragraphs has turned my perspective on how to filter unsolicited advices. I may lend my ear on to anyone’s words, but I know which advices I need to explore more. There's an antenna in my head that tells me which people I need to listen to more when they talk about my work or projects. Sometimes, I just nod my head when someone wants to intimidate my ideas or opinions.
Every constructive criticism is as worth as golden but it's up to us to explore or implement it into our lives and make it more valuable than gold. Every appreciation given to me is a sign that my work is notice in the burst of air. I know, this too shall past. Enjoy every moment you're in right now.
By the way, if you have questions or topics of anything, you can just hit the reply button in this e-mail or directly send me e-mail (bintangmelva9@gmail.com) or DM me (Substack or Instagram @melvabintangg)
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Regards,
Melva Bintang